Dictionary Stories 2010-01-21

Aardvark

An aardvark is an omnivorous mammal. You probably knew that all ready. Some how a definition seemed the right way to begin this post.

There once was an aardvark called Charles,
Who kept all his termites in jars,
But as the termites escaped and began to tickle,
He reflected that he would have been better with pickle.


Okay so I suck at limericks! Better luck next time I guess.

Dictionary Stories 2010-01-09

Zabagkione

The desert was ready. Now all Mavis had to worry about was the pronunciation. She hoped Mr Losi would like it. She placed the zabagkione on the side and turned her attention to the cooker. The bolognese sauce was almost ready. Starting as she meant to go on, should she get the job, she scooped up some of the sauce. Then she carefully poured it on to a tea spoon. As she tasted it she frowned.

The sauce didn't taste bad, in fact it was fine, but it did surprise her. It surprised her that this sauce, which she had spend all afternoon working on, didn't taste that different from what you'd get out of a jar. She wondered if that meant she wasn't cut out to be a cook or that Dolmio was just that good.

This musing didn't last long. There was a knock at the door. Dumping her apron on the side in the kitchen she headed for the door.

She saw Mr Losi and his wife through the frosted glass. The moment of truth would soon arrive. Would she be working in Losi's Italian Restaurant tomorrow?

Dictionary Stories 2010-12-08

Yacht

"What a stupid language," the writer said. He said it out loud as he tried to think up a story about yachts. On a whim he looked it up on a Google image search and then Google definitions. And a yacht is a large luxurious ship or a smaller vessel that requires a high degree of physicality to operate.

Another idea came to his mind. A Captain's yacht. Perhaps that is just a Star Trek invention!

The idea for a story did not come. Perhaps he was thinking to hard. He close this eyes and decided to write what came to mind.

Peter set foot aboard the yacht. It was grand. He had a beautiful cabin overlooking the sea. It was positioned just below the bridge. He stretched out on the sofa and watched as the ship set off. He had been awaiting this cruise for sometime. He had been saving his money. Now the time had come. His novel had sold millions and he owned a beautiful boat.

The author realised he had no ideas. He was sitting on a rowing boat on a small lake. But he could dream.

Dictionary Stories 2010-12-05

Xenoglossia

Once again the imagination fails to be sparked by this word. Ironically I've just been watching a Stargate SG-1 episode, 'The Fifth Race', where Colonel O'Neill has this ability.

'Xenoglossia is the putative paranormal phenomenon in which a person is able to speak or write a language he or she could not have acquired by natural means.' - is the definition according to faithful Wikipedia.

Wouldn't that be a great thing? I'd love to be able to just innately pick up a language like that. However as I proved the other day I even seem to have problems with English!

I had some work read out in class last week and there were, unfortunately, a lot of mistakes in it. Most of these were centered around speech. Somehow language changes around speech. Maybe I'm just being dense but it does seem like the rules of punctuation are changed when speech marks are involved. Well I've edited the chapter now and will actually get back to writing. As any writer will know editing is bad and boring.

Here is a picture of me holding magazines.



This is writing magazine. As you can see they are still in their cellophane wrapping. Don't let that fool you. These have very good articles for the budding writer. Advice, interviews; the works. I just don't always get around to reading them. However one interesting thing I read in the previous issue was a way to get round getting stuck. Basically it said to meander. To describe more thoroughly. Or even to kill a character. This allows for something to be written, rather than giving up, and in the process the path of the novel become clear.

Well once again this hasn't been a story. However I have high hopes for the next world which is - Yacht. I am sure to think of something for that.

Bye.

Dictionary Storise 2010-11-27

Wacky

Wacky, wild and zany.

Some words in the dictionary fail to inspire any idea! I know some wacky people but would call them bubbly. This is a ramble and an unproductive ramble. So let me share with you some wacky people from Rocketboom.



This is a web show about all sorts of interesting things. Without Rocketboom I might actually have to give careful consideration to getting a life.

Speaking of which I am meeting some friends this evening. Its for a Christmas party (ish thing) my friend had the very good idea of having it now! So that we avoid the Christmas madness!

So I better get ready.

Maybe I'll upload some pictures afterwards.

The next dictionary story will be about xanthoma - a skin discolouration - err! Might skip that one.

Dictionary Stories 2010-08-12

Vacancy

Another departure from a formal story. However for this word I feel I want to discuss it. 'Vacancy' the word that is the bane of all those searching for work. I know that that might sound like a contradiction in terms. I however have been trying to find a job for a long time. Its really annoying - mainly because most places never get back to you! So you always wonder has my application been rejected or are they still processing.

To quote Xander Harris 'I'm just expecting thin slips of paper with the words 'No Way' written in crayon.' Seriously I wouldn't be surprised if companies wrote to me saying 'no' preempting my application!

So I guess my only option is to keep at it. I feel the job center web site calling. I hope to be published one day because this job thing seems dire!

How about you? Have you had trouble with finding a job?

Dictionary Stories 2010-09-11

Ubiquitous

"Ubiquitous," Inspector Bajak said.
"Everywhere?" Chief Inspector Bronikowski said.
"Yes ma'am," Bajek said. She hoped she'd hidden the slight curl of her lips. She was unsure if Bronikowski had asked the question for confirmation or because she didn't know the meaning of the word. She took one hand from behind her back and rubbed her right eye.
"What's your next move?"
"Ma'am?"
"This has been your operation. You've been gathering intelligence for nearly two months. Don't you want to see this through?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Then take an armed team and make the arrest."
Bajek left the Chief Inspector's office to be met by Inspector Munet. He smiled a small smile as he looked at Bajek. As they crossed the precinct they kept the conversation to business.
"Well," Munet asked once they were in the small anteroom.
"Inconclusive," Bajak said, "don't know if she didn't know know the word or just couldn't believe the size of the operation."
"We'll I'll bet she didn't know the word," Munet said, "here you go," he handed Bajek a £5 note, "so what's my word?"
"Inconclusive," Bajek said.

Dictionary Stories 2010-07-24

Tab

"Tab," Walter said, "put it on my tab."
"Can't do that," the bartender said, "you know that."
Walter reached in to his pocket and chucked some change, an empty packet of gum and a library card on to the bar. The bartender took the coins he wanted and placed them in the register. Walter scraped the remaining change, the gum packet and the library card back in to his palm and back into his pocket.
He took up the shot glass and ran his finger around the rim. He had the look of a starving man who had been given a fish instead of a net. He nursed the drink for a while before taking it down in one gulp.
"Two coffees," a tall man was suddenly standing next to him. He wore a long coat and handed over a ten pound note to pay for the drinks.
"What table are you at?" the bartender asked, "we'll bring it to you."
"I'll wait," the man said. He turned to Walter, "you are Walter Patterson."
"Who wants to know?"
"You are in some financial trouble. You were recommended by a friend of mine. This job stands to make you a very rich man. The other coffee is for you - we need you sober. Are you interested?"

Dictionary Stories 2010-07-21

Sabbath

It is strangle appropriate and in appropriate that this story is being written on Sunday. (That's assuming that I click the submit button today) Appropriate that today is the Sabbath for Christians. Of course technically this could count as work and so shouldn't be being done now.

I know that the title of this section is 'Dictionary Stories' but there are some words that simply do not call a story to my mind. So I will use this as a segue to talk about religion. I'm a Buddhist and recently have become a practicing Buddhist.

By this I mean that I say mantra every morning and try silent sitting. It is strange how difficult it can be to just sit in silence trying, though try might be a contradiction, to think of nothing. My mind is always a jumble of varies things - story ideas - what's for dinner and many other things. Plus the sound of the road outside my house can be quite distracting.

(Well what do you know? Its now Wednesday! Days go so fast!)

...but somewhere amongst all of that you somehow get to a moment of...I don't know what the word is. A moment of something and then suddenly the silent sitting seems to work.

I know that this post is long and rambling and has nothing to do with the title. I keep thinking of incorporating pictures into the blog but am not really ever sure of what - any ideas? Went to Ikea today and that doesn't seem a thing necessary to post.

Dictionary Stories 2010-06-10

Rabbat

Rabbet is a word in the English language. It is a world that I had not encountered before embarking on this insane endeavour! It is also a word that the blogspot dictionary is unaware of - though blogspot is coming up as a misspelling as well - so I guess that that isn't saying much.

Rabbet, according to faithful wikipiedia is:

A rabbet (also known as rebate) is a recess or groove cut into the edge of a piece of machineable material, usually wood. When viewed in cross-section, a rabbet is two-sided and open to the edge or end of the surface into which it is cut. - (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbet)

There you are. You lean something new every day - too bad its of no use whatsoever - unless you happen to be a carpenter. By the way a carpenter is someone who works with wood. It is not someone who paints cars.

Dictionary Stories 2010-06-05

Quack

"Quack, quack quack," the teacher said.
"Quack, quack quack," the class repeated.
"Almost," she said, "its a very subtle language. Let's break it down in to the three words. Quack - quack - quack."
The class repeated.
"Excellent," the teacher said, "now I believe our guest speaker is here. Alice would you open the window?"
Alice pushed away her table and crossed to the window and opened it. As soon as the gap was large enough a white duck flew in and landed on the teacher's desk.
"Hello," the duck said, "I understand you've been learning our language. It is most subtle and one of the hardest languages to learn. Just be glad your not learning chicken!"

Dictionary Strories 2010-05-11

Pace

Pace. That was the key. If a good pace was kept up then he would be able to reach the finishing line. He told himself that he would not ever stop rather he would simply slow to a walk if he require a rest. As his tail moved from side-to-side he was glad of it being a good day for the marathon. He was sweating in the thick coat. He looked at the orange fur of his body and sighed. He was given the impetus to break into a run as a man dressed as a cigarette passed him. They must have been working for the NHS promoting non-smoking. As the cigarette-man passed him he slowed to a walk once more.
"Why," he asked himself, "why did I have to run dressed as a cat. Why when there were plenty of other cooler choices in that costume shop!"

Dictionary Stories 2010-03-10

Oaf

OAF. John couldn't help but laugh as he read his ticket. He could almost imagine that the ticket was commenting on him. He had been called as much at school. It hadn't been that he was especially dimwitted but, as he had once looked in his dictionary, he was certainly awkward. His forehead was inflamed as if it came too far out. His nose and mouth were also too large and he had almost a demonic appearance. Aside from some discomfort he had had as a child he could mostly live a normal life. He still got people staring at him but now it seemed most were embarrassed by their own behaviour he had learned to ignore it.

The train pulled into the platform and John boarded. He was looking forward to the continuation of his Australian adventure. It had been purely by chance that he had come here. After leaving university he had decided to go traveling and had various ideas of where to go. He had put the options up on a dartboard and thrown a dart blindfolded as a random generator. Australia had won. He had started with the Sidney Opera House and was now moving on to the unknown Australia. He would soon arrive at the station with the code of OAF.

Dictionary Stories 2010-02-26

Nab

"Nab," dad said as he reached over grabbing a chip.
"That's not the right word," Charlie said, "why don't you get yourself some chips?"
"Your mother's got me on this diet - no chips."
"Got to indulge now and then." Charlie said, passing his father a couple more chips.
"You're mother wouldn't agree with that."
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her."
"Not true," dad said. He was clearly enjoying the chips. He held the last one up like it was a holy relic before placing it on his tongue, biting and closing his mouth dramatically.
"You could try the exercise thing."
"I suppose," dad said, "think I could combine exercise and chips?"
"If you walked far enough or often enough."
Dad smiled as an idea crossed his mind,"I'll do the shopping on foot today. See you in a couple of hours."

Dictionary Stories 2010-02-16

Ma'am

"Ma'am," Chief Broadhurst said.
Ma'am it still sounded strange to the ears of Lieutenant Llewellyn. The Chief Petty Officer had served for nearly thirty years and yet had to call her ma'am. She pushed herself up from the Harrier and climbed down on to the deck.
"Thank you Chief."
"Your welcome. Are you all right ma'am?"
"First night landing."
They walked across the deck to the control tower. Llewellyn knew that Commander Air would be their waiting for her. She was sure he'd find some small fault with her landing.

Dictionary Stories 2010-02-15

Lab

"Lab was completely destroyed sir," Sergeant Walker reported.
"Cause?" the Superintendent asked.
"We have been unable to find one."
The Superintendent left his seat and crossed the room. He stroked his bearded chin in thought as he looked out the window.
"A lab doesn't just blow up. What we're they working on?"
"The lead scientist was not very forthcoming about that sir. She would only say that she trusted her staff and that they we're not working on anything controversial or explosive."
"A lab has gas taps."
"Yes sir. It wasn't a gas explosion however."
"Keep on this Inspector."
"Sergeant sir."
"Not if you solve this mystery."
"Yes, sir. Thank you sir."
"Dismissed."

Dictionary Stories 2010-02-12

Kabaddi

"Kabaddi!" Mr Jones paced across the headmasters office. "They have a problem with a game. Why?"
"Well," said the headmaster, putting on a toff accent, "it's just not cricket."
"Literally and figuratively, I see."
"I'm sorry Mr Jones but you'll have to go back to the approved games."
"I will. Headmaster, Games lessons are difficult as it is to motivate the students. They were enjoying themselves."
"I don't think the governors are using logic."

Mr Jones left the headmasters office. As it happened he had a Games lesson straight away. Once everyone was changed they gathered in the sports hall.
"What are we doing today sir?" Mitchell asked.
"Cricket," Mr Jones said.
"What about that other game, sir?"
"I'm afraid we're not allowed to play that. The governors want us to stick to conventional sports."
"To hell with them," Mitchell said.
"Language," Mr Jones said, though only halfheartedly.
So they set up the wickets, bat and cones and played a strange high school variety of cricket. When the ball was thrown the batter hit it and tried to get as many runs round the cone before the bowler was in position to bowl again.
"This isn't cricket either," Mr Jones said to himself.

Dictionary Stories 2010-02-11

Jab

"Jab,Jab," said Kurt. He brought the Biro down onto Boris's arm.
"Cut it out!"
"It'll be a needle next time!" Kurt taunted.
"I know," said Boris, "I don't need you to remind me of that!"
Boris moved away from his brother to the far end of the room. Kurt was an annoying pain a lot of the time but he would usually stop when asked to. Boris however couldn't help but look at his arm, which now had pen marks, he was still scared. The whole idea of the doctor plunging a needle into his arm was terrifying.
"Ready?" mum asked entering the living room.
"Ready?" Boris confirmed.

Boris and mum got into the car and set off for the doctor's surgery. Mum picked up one of the old magazines, Kurt just looked uncertainly round the room. Soon his name was called and they headed through to the doctors room.
"How are you today?2
"Okay," Boris said.
"Good," the doctor said. He reached behind him for a needle. "This will only hurt for a moment."
"I thought doctors we're supposed to say 'this won't hurt a bit.'"
"I never lie to my patients."
The doctor carefully pushed the needle into Boris's arm. It stung for a moment then the tube the doctor attached began to fill with blood.
"That wasn't so bad," Boris said.
The doctor passed him a piece of cotton wool which Boris held in place till the doctor secured it with some micropore.
"We'll have the test results in about a week."

Dictionary Stories 2010-02-10

I

I think that this entry is somewhat of a cheat! After all a sentence starting with I can go any which way it wants. I could tell you about my childhood, university or my non existent love life. I believe I will postpone however as I would like to keep people reading. I know though that very few people actually read this blog. So I will try to be quite interesting.

I got nothing.

I will be back later in the week with a story of Jab. Also I'm in a celebratory mood as it is reading week next week, Tibetan new year this week end and a friend's birthday today. So happy birthday to all those born today, hope you all have a great time.

Dictionary Stories 2010-02-05

Ha

"Ha," said Sarah. She clicked her fingers in triumph and began to type feverishly. She was sure she was making mistakes but it didn't matter. Practically the first thing they told you when studding creative writing was that editing could come later. She had been working on her novel for, well if you counted her childhood crayon scribblings, all her life and still it wasn't done. At least four of the chapters she had written had been chapter one at one time. Now she had had the inspiration and decided to write long hand. Without a backspace button editing had to come at the end. Every evening she had written at least a page and had filled two large pads of paper. Now was the time to write it up on the computer. This had the advantage of instantly having a chance to edit.
Now she had added the prologue, epilogue and dedication and was ready to send the manuscript off. Only time would tell if it would be the next Harry Potter or a complete flop only enjoyed by friends and family.